Unicorns, Leprechauns, and Airport Screenings

The Houston Chronicle ran an interesting piece about the security of Houston's airports. The article evidently stems from an incident that took place last November (2006) whereby "... a 9-volt battery, wires, pipes and a brown clay-like substance" were found in a someone's checked luggage. Though the items were ultimately confiscated (though no real word on what happened to the individual), the incident wound up creating some 'scary' words in a report issued months later.

Though I was not able to find the report itself (in all likeliness it's classified or at least very confidential), my suspicion is that it didn't talk about the real problem at hand - that the entire screening process is a joke, and America's tolerance of it is the punchline.

Now perhaps that last statement is slightly over the top, but if so, it's only ever so slightly. The screenings DO reduce the chances of thug-like individuals and the like from having weapons and from bringing them on board. Should a hot-headed argument ensue at 30,000ft, at least it should be reduced to words and possibly fists. But that is about the end of it. The notion that the screening process has somehow made air travel ANY safer [from would be terrorists] is laughable at best.

Let's start with some basic reasoning for this:

Firstly, the fact always remains that anyone determined enough can usually accomplish just about anything. That in itself is a hard lesson for most Americans to understand, but it's true. And despite any presidential rhetoric we may be told, this has nothing to do with 'your enemy', but rather just that anyone is capable of such feats should they whole-heartedly feel they need to.

Secondly, if the threat to airports, air travel, and etc., is real and avoidable, why do we employ the lowest common denominator as the gatekeepers of our alleged safety? I just spent two minutes on Google looking for open TSA positions. Here are the TWO qualifications required for a screener job at Dulles International Airport:

Qualifications

1. You must be a U.S.Citizen or U.S. National; AND
2. You must have a high school diploma, GED or equivalent; OR at least one year of full-time work experience in security work, aviation screener work, or x-ray technician work.

So if you read that closely enough, you (1) do NOT need to be a U.S. citizen, and (2) could NEVER have gone to school so long as you can justifiably say you worked in security for a year.

Obviously, the most basic of problems is that rather than rely upon intuition, logical assessments, and general analytical abilities capable of most human beings with an education, the job relies upon bureaucratic generalities - and not very good ones either.

We've all seen the security guard who requires you to walk through the entire maze of ropes when there is no line. Moreover, the same individual who will attempt to discipline you should you just walk around them to save time. Why is this? On one hand it's possibly due to the power trip many individuals feel when in such situations; unfortunate, but common nonetheless. On the other hand, it's simply an individual doing exactly what he is told to do without any express thought for the situation around him. The problem is that so long as you do exactly what you're told to do, you can get away with just about anything.

I could point out problem after problem with our system, but in the meanwhile it seems almost futile. So while the TSA might label me a pessimist and a terrorist might label me an optimist, I just wonder how many more articles I'll read in the coming years about our 'safety'.